Category Archives: Letters

An open apology to Kristen Swanson, The Room Store Lady

Posted on April 27, 2011 by David C. Garcia

If you Google “The Room Store,” one of the top hit results is The Room Store. Surprise, surprise. Another one of the top hits is my blog. It’s listed just right above the Wikipedia entry for the furniture establishment. How … Continue reading →

Posted in Adult Things, Letters | Leave a comment

The Query Letter I Decided NOT to Send to Agents

Posted on April 23, 2009 by David C. Garcia

Dear Agent, I wrote a book. It’s called Shedding the Reptile: A Memoir.  You can tell from the title that it’s a memoir.  I wanted to make that clear.  That’s why I didn’t title it Shedding the Reptile: A Cookbook.  … Continue reading →

Posted in Humor, Letters, The Book | Tagged , , , | 4 Comments

Earth Day Schmerth Day: An Open Letter To Our Planet

Posted on April 22, 2009 by David C. Garcia

Dear Earth, Today all these retards are celebrating how awesome you are.  People are rejoicing your rivers, saluting your forests, praising your atmosphere. Not me, Earth.  Today, I hate you harder than ever.  Don’t get me wrong.  I hate you all the time, … Continue reading →

Posted in General, Humor, Letters, Movies | Tagged , , | 5 Comments