Monthly Archives: April 2009

The Query Letter I Decided NOT to Send to Agents

Posted on April 23, 2009 by David C. Garcia

Dear Agent, I wrote a book. It’s called Shedding the Reptile: A Memoir.  You can tell from the title that it’s a memoir.  I wanted to make that clear.  That’s why I didn’t title it Shedding the Reptile: A Cookbook.  … Continue reading →

Posted in Humor, Letters, The Book | Tagged , , , | 4 Comments

Earth Day Schmerth Day: An Open Letter To Our Planet

Posted on April 22, 2009 by David C. Garcia

Dear Earth, Today all these retards are celebrating how awesome you are.  People are rejoicing your rivers, saluting your forests, praising your atmosphere. Not me, Earth.  Today, I hate you harder than ever.  Don’t get me wrong.  I hate you all the time, … Continue reading →

Posted in General, Humor, Letters, Movies | Tagged , , | 5 Comments

Who’s Fart is that Anyway? – 70s Edition

Posted on April 21, 2009 by David C. Garcia

I was going to post a piece called “Things I Fucked When I Was a Kid” today.  These past few days have been way too serious for me, though.  I’m not a big fan of serious.  So today, there is … Continue reading →

Posted in Badass Things, Humor | Tagged , , , , , | 4 Comments