Badass Music: Journey
When you think of badasses, you think of dudes who mean business. Badasses kick asses and take names all day long. It’s a 24/7 job, and when badasses stop doing their job, the terrorists win. A lot.
There are only two dates in American History that badasses have stopped kicking asses and taking names:
November 28, 1997: The day Beavis and Butthead went off the air.
And
September 11, 2001: The day I almost beat Contra (NES) with one life but was interrupted when my mom called me to tell me something about New York.
On these two sad American dates, badasses were in union negotiations and failed to actually do their job. And what happened? America’s most beloved cartoon went off the air, and I died in Contra. Coincidence? Doubtful. The terrorists made that shit happen. Terrorists don’t hate freedom. They hate badass things like Contra and Beavis and Butthead.
But I digress…
Badasses obviously have a passion for their calling, and that passion is fueled by pure, unadulterated inspiration. That inspiration comes from one source:
Journey, motherfuckers!
That’s right. Just like fat kids are motivated by Ding Dongs and just like Michael Jackson is motivated by fat kids’ ding dongs, badasses are motivated by the sweet arena-rocking sounds of Journey. You would think badasses are driven by something way more hardcore like Judas Priest. I mean, what is more hardcore and heterosexual than Judas Priest?
It’s true, Judas Priest may rock the balls right off your face. However, screaming and wailing guitars does not always translate to passion, and that is what Journey has. That is what Journey creates.
Journey invented passion and they spoke it to the world, like Jesus to his disciples, through their ass-kicking front man, Steve Perry–an Original Badass.
Journey is pretty much the only thing I listen to. I have a 30G iPod, and it is filled with 30G of Journey. When I first applied to be a badass, one of the hardest things was to throw out all my other music. Well, in order to make a badass, you have to crack a few eggs (and skulls). I complied, and I have never looked back.
When I lift weights in my sleeveless sweatshirt, I jam to Journey’s “Edge of The Blade.” When I open-mouth French kiss my wife, I simultaneously hum “Don’t Stop Believin’.” She loves it.
There are some progressive badasses who have included other Badass artists to their musical catalogue: Phil Collins, Toto, Mr. Mister. These are all very talented, passionate and badass badasses. However, I am a purist.
Journey, bitches. That’s all I listen to.
- David C. Garcia,
Journey fan
Ruth Said,
April 8, 2009 @ 1:22 pm
Rock on!
ImPerceptible Said,
April 8, 2009 @ 2:16 pm
I am ashamed to admit that I don’t have a single Journey song on my iPod. But don’t worry, I am commited to becoming a badass and I will be heading to iTunes as soon as I finish this comment.
Can I keep a couple NIN songs? I really can’t get the dishes done without some NIN. Nevermind, 100% commitment. All Journey, all the time!
David C. Garcia Said,
April 8, 2009 @ 2:31 pm
I didn’t have any Journey on my iPod for a long time. But being a badass is a *commitment*. You are welcome to keep NIN on the iPod, but you may quickly lose any desire to hear Trent Reznor’s angsty voice once Steve Perry’s angelic vocals inspire/molest you eardrums.
Lem Said,
April 9, 2009 @ 7:47 am
Journey is pretty much the only thing I listen to, too. And now for a potentially touchy subject.. how do you feel about the new singer? Is he equal in badass level?
My friend Laurel and I have decided that Steve is as the father, Arnel is as the son. (And Neal is the holy spirit, ftw.)
David C. Garcia Said,
April 9, 2009 @ 8:16 am
Lem:
You know, comparing Journey to the Holy Trinity is appropriate. Especially since Journey is even more important than god. You have hit the nail right on the head. While Steve Perry probably has the most badass/passionate voice ever, I am happy with ANY decision Journey makes. Journey is the most important thing a badass listens to.
Katherine Said,
April 9, 2009 @ 2:13 pm
Love this post!
David C. Garcia » Who’s Fart is that Anyway? - 70s Edition Said,
April 21, 2009 @ 2:39 pm
[...] finally, Steve Perry. As you all know, I consider Steve Perry to be a badass’ badass. Steve Perry is like the voice box of god on earth. And his farts are pretty much like [...]
David C. Garcia » The Neck Beard: Badassamine Enhancer Said,
May 4, 2009 @ 10:12 am
[...] is not to say that facial hair is a requisite for the production of badassamine. Look at Steve Perry. That passionate angel of a man has never grown a single whisker and still has the ability to get [...]