My Dog > Bums

I went to CVS today to buy the patch so I can quit smoking.  It’s a nice day, so I wasn’t surprised with the vagrant standing outside with a sign that said, “WE NEED HELP.  GOD BLESS.”  Bums always come out when the weather is nice.

I have no problem helping people who NEED help.  Seriously.  If this dude had no legs or was blind I would have kicked him a buck or two.  I’m on a budget right now, so that would have been the max.

But this guy was completely able-bodied.  He stood there looking more confident than a bum should look, one leg crossed over the other as he “cool guy leaned” on the wall.

GRRR.

I walked up to him.

“Hey.  It’s nice outside.  I’ll give you five…ten bucks if you wash my car.”

Seriously, he didn’t even have to go job hunting.  I brought the job to him.

“No.”  That’s all he said.

“Really?  Ten bucks to wash my car.”

“No.”

This just pissed me off, so I reminded the guy of the old American adage “Beggars can’t be choosers.”

“I’m not going to wash your car.”  Okay, so he was able to say more than “no.”

I didn’t want to go any further.  I was pissed and confused.  I think I was about one more “no” from losing my shit and making a scene.

Too proud to wash my car?  I don’t know.  Lazy?  More likely.  He had a sweet gig.  All he has to do is stand outside with his bum sign and beg for free tax-free loot while the rest of America has to actually go to work and likely do jobs they can’t just say “no” to.

Damn, the homeless piss me off sometimes.

I was all ready for the guy to start spouting off some shit about the economy.  I was ready.  There’s a McDonad’s down the road that I know for a fact is hiring.  “Goddammit, bum.  If you can make a bum sign, you can make a fucking cheeseburger.”

I am so tired of this handout bullshit.  Join the rest of America’s ranks, get a job and accrue unhealthy amounts of debt like the rest of us.

I almost wanted to tell this bum to get a job robbing people.  At least that way there would be some sort of justification for the excessively large police force in Fredericksburg City.  Yes, I am advocating crime.  We have so many cops in this relatively peaceful city.  There is no reason for us to have this many police.  Everytime I go to 7-Eleven, not only do I see homeless hanging out begging me for cigarettes an change, but I also see like 10 cops standing around reading the paper and chatting with that fat, retarded clerk.  Isn’t loitering illegal officer?

Oh Christ, I need to run for office in this city and bring real change we need.  Not for you, bum.  No change for you.  Get a job.

Ugh.  And another thing.  There’s a dog park next to my apartment.  I have a small bladder and typically stop at the portable Jon next to said dog park when I take Rowdy for a walk.  I like to read when I go to the bathroom, so when I used this particular porta-Jon a few months ago, I noticed some poorly scrawled graffiti on the wall of said stall.  It said, “The city can build a dog park, but it can’t feed the homeless.”

One of two people wrote this.  Either some retarded college kid who is fighting the good fight while mom and dad pay for him/her to get educated.  Or a bum.  If it’s the latter, the bum obviously has the ability to write – albeit poorly.

It pissed me off, though.  Why the fuck should the city feed the homeless?  I pay taxes so that I have a park I can bring my dog to and so that police officers can stand around not arresting people.  Listen, bum.  When you start actually working, I will take your ridiculous scribblings seriously.  And if some dipshit college kid wrote that – I’m telling your parents you smoke pot, Junior.