President Barack Obama, welcome to the most powerful job in the world.  Please don’t let us down.

image source: cnn.com

You may have noticed (or not) that the word count ticker on the sidebar of this site has not been updated.  That doesn’t mean anything.  I am just not updating it anymore.  In all honesty, the main reason I put the little book ticker on there was so that I would be motivated to keep writing.  That was in the beginning phases of writing THE BOOK, and I was still intimidated with the prospect of actually composing such a massive piece of writing.

As of right now, I have written over 75,000 words and am nearing the end.  By the time I complete THE BOOK and have it in final form for the first draft revision, it will probably be a little over 100,000 words.

I am excited.

After I finish my one-week time-off-from-everything-except-chillaxin session in February, Jess Glass and I will get ready to polish up the first draft.  I have no point of reference for editing a book, so I can’t even estimate how long it will take to get THE BOOK from first draft to second draft.

When all that shiznat is said and done, I will be giving copies of the first draft to a handful of people I trust to give me feedback.  It’s a lot of content, and I thought about just e-mailing copies of it to people, but I don’t want to do that for several reasons.  First, I hate the environment and would rather print up reams of paper.  Second, I don’t want to risk having the thing I have poured my heart and soul into forwarded to people.  Third, I like the idea of having my book read as a book.

That’s pretty much it.  I don’t plan to post any more updates on THE BOOK progress for some time.

So, if you want some entertainment, enjoy this little video snippet from my insanely left-wing friend, Ryan Little:

Oh, on a completely unrelated note (on which I will not elaborate but say has nothing to do with Sarah Palin), I am almost 100-percent convinced that a vast majority of Alaska’s population is functionally retarded or affected by fetal alcohol syndrome.

- David C. Garcia

The first week of February is going to be amazing.

Two reasons:

1. I get to find out the gender of my child.  That means I will be able to determine, with absolute certainty, whether my child will be a little boy named Voltron Garcia or a little girl named Robocop Garcia.  They are Christian names.

2. I will be on vacation from THE BOOK.  I have five days off back-to-back during the first Semana De Black History Month.  HEY-OOOO!  I have decided to bust my ass and finish the first draft of THE BOOK by the end of this month.  This is what I will probably look like by that point:

I’ll take a little vacation and catch up on TV and videogames.  I will then be meeting with my diligent editor, Jess Glass, and tear my book to pieces.  I have already decided on and spoken with most of the people will be reviewing my book when the second draft is done.  I chose them based on their willingness to be brutally honest.  And if they don’t like what I offer them to read, they are cordially invited to go fuck themselves.  Just kidding.  But not really.

- David C. Garcia

Brandon and I have a pretty good dynamic when it comes to writing the TSAT essays.  It’s apparent the magic is really working when he and I sit in the compound, practically shitting ourselves with laughter as we go back-and-forth with our contributions to the essay.  When I got married, Brandon did a solo essay about the wedding.  This past week, I got tasked with a solo essay while Brandon was visiting with family on the West Coast.

We both bring something very special to the TSAT world, and the final product is always something very unique.  When we are left to our own devices, though, it becomes kind of obvious what kind of tone we each provide when writing the essays.

If you are so inclined, go read the solo essay I did (AND ILLUSTRATED!) for TSAT this week.  And comment.  As a narcissist, I need some sort of recognition.

DAVID TAKES CARE OF BUSINESS WHILE BRANDON IS ON “VACATION”

I generally hate kids movies.  Hate.

They are boring and irritating.  And before any of you open up your yaps and say something to make my blood boil like, “Well, you had better get used to it,” let me offer up a preemptive I KNOW!

I also don’t like baby poop, but I am certainly going to be handling a lot of that.

I just don’t like kid’s movies.  My wife and friends say things like, “Oh, they’re cute!” or… I can’t think of anything else they say.  It’s usually about the movie being “cute.”  Cop out.

If I want to see cute, I will go to the ASPCA and look at puppies.  It’s closer to my apartment than the movie theater, and it’s free.

There’s just nothing appealing about most kids movies. Exceptions include Shrek, Wall-E, Milo and Otis and Commando.

Oh, and The Tale of Despereaux.

Yesterday, Meggie sent me an e-mail telling me that she wanted to see a movie.  Valkyrie seemed like the only possible movie we would both agree on.  Usually our movie tastes are in complete opposition.  She likes to watch movies about brides fighting, and I like movies crammed with more f-bombs and blood than Ryan White in a room full of razor blades.

But she insisted that we go see The Tale of Despereaux.  ”Oh great,” I thought, “Another movie about rodents.  Another KID MOVIE ABOUT RODENTS!”  ARRRGGGGHHHH!

Well, props to Meggie.  The Tale of Despereaux ruled.  It was wonderful.  It was an amazing story, it was visually pleasing, it was funny, it was at times eerie, and it was certainly an excellent allegory for our times.

So, cheers to you, Meggie Garcia.  You chose an excellent movie.  When our little baby is born, this may be one of the first movies I get him or her to watch!

If you were planning to go see something ridiculous like Yes Man (aka Liar Liar Part 2), you’re an idiot.  Go see The Tale of Despereaux.

- David C. Garcia

Hello, and Happy New Year!

Or something.

I haven’t had a good Christmas or New Years in a long time.  They haven’t been bad or anything, they have just been pretty uneventful.  This year was good.  I got all kinds of sweet loot, including a Flip Mino video camera.  My mother and brother came to visit.  Dad couldn’t make it because, well, he’s in Iraq killing bad people.  But seeing my mom and Chris was cool.

The problem, however, with the holiday is that it set back my entire schedule.  I was planning to complete a significant amount of writing for THE BOOK, but none of that happened.  I need to buckle down and get the first draft finished.  My goal was to have the whole book in the editing process by the end of this month, but now it looks like I am going to be working on the book into next month.

Father Time is really pissing me off.

Some other news:

- In four weeks, I will know what gender my baby is.  That is super exciting.

- I will be solo-essaying this week for TSAT.  Plan to have your pants ROFL’d off, putos.

- The newest installment of the Call of Duty series, “World At War” is awesome.

- I have decided to stop drinking so much soda.  As soon as I finish the soda I have, I will be an H2O man.

That’s all.  Happy 2009, vatos.

- David C. Garcia