I have a screw loose and take medicine to keep the things in my head from pushing my brains out of my ears when I sleep at night.

Just wanted to throw that out there.  This became very apparent to me last night.

After we finished our most recent morality abortion at TSAT entitled “THIS PARADE IS RETARDED,” co-author and illustrator, Brandon J. Carr went and started live illustrating at UStream.  He posted a link to the stream, inviting everyone on Twitter and Facebook to come watch as he crafted another great visual (he is a very good artist).

So, I went ahead and checked it out.  Then I noticed there was a chat room option.

I am a child.

I logged in as an anonymous chat-room participant.  I have shamelessly done this to Brandon before – posed as an online idiot pretty much for my own amusement.  Except this time I not only joined the chat as an anonymous participant but also as myself. 

Brandon asked something along the lines if anyone watching could hear the music.  I anonymously replied with, “Yes! No.”  Brandon asked my anonymous character which response I meant, so I replied, “Music!”  This went on and on, back and forth until Brandon made some snarky comment, to which I replied that he was being “condesending.”

Here is the ensuing chat that occurred.  Originally, the anonymous participant I would later name “Greg” was known only as “ustreamer-39504.”  Brandon is named “Brandon” and the real me, “David” was denoted as  “ustreamer-46375.”  For the sake of better understanding, I went ahead and changed the chatlog so that the names are “Brandon,” “Greg” and “David.”

 00:47 Greg : WTF!?
 00:47 Greg : You are condasending.
 00:48 Brandon : No way.  I am cuddly.
 00:51 Greg : Whatev.
 00:52 Greg : Do you like the Mitey Mitey Bostones?
 00:52 Brandon: I don’t dislike them.  But I don’t listen to them often.
 00:53 Greg : Thay are really talented.
 00:53 Greg : Are you a muzic snob?
 00:54 Brandon: Sometimes.
 00:54 Greg: What are you drawing
 00:54 Brandon: An illustration for These Stories Are True.  It’s an essay about parades.

It was at this point that I got a private IM via Google Chat from Branmdon asking if I was messing with him in the UStream chat room.  I, of course, said “no way.”

 
 00:55 Greg : They look like they are doing x
 00:55 Brandon: Perhaps they are.  One of them is wearing several glowy necklaces.
 00:55 Greg : LOL
 00:56 Greg : My friends and me did X but nothing happened.
 00:56 Brandon: Maybe you did Y instead.
 00:58 Greg : LOL
 01:00 Greg : Do you like My chemical romance?
 01:00 Brandon: Sometimes.  Depends on my mood.  I haven’t listened to any of their stuff other than The Black Parade in some time.
 01:00 Greg : that album is shit.
 01:02 Brandon: Do YOU like My Chemical Romance?
 01:02 Greg : Yeah.  my friend just made me a mixtape.

It was at this point that Brandon asked me, David, to join the chat room.  So I did.

 01:03 David: HEY-OOOOOO!
 01:03 Brandon: Awwwww yeah…what up, David?
 01:04 David: What up?
 01:04 Greg : hi david.
 01:04 David: Hi.  Who is this?
 01:04 Greg : Greg.
 01:05 David: Hi Greg.
 01:05 Brandon: Greg and I have been talking about music.
 01:05 Greg : do you like the mitey bostones.
 01:05 David: I hate them.  Sorry, dude.
 01:06 Greg : This guysdrawing some kool shit
 01:06 David: Yep.  “Cool shit.”
 01:07 Brandon: Thanks, Greg!
 01:07 Greg : your welcome.  what is your fav muzic?
 01:07 David: Mine?
 01:08 David: I don’t have any favorite music, Greg.  I am currently jamming to GnRs “Chinese Democracy.”
 01:08 Greg : I heard that album is shit
 01:08 David: No way, man.  That album rulz.
 01:09 David: You don’t like it, Greg?
 01:09 Greg : i hate guns and roses.  they are gay as shit
 01:10 David: Huh?  But you like the Mighty Mighty Bostones.  And My Chemical Romance from what I can tell.
 01:11 Greg : at least they can make muzic and don’t scream like shits
 01:11 David: “Like shits?”
 01:11 Greg : your condesending
 01:11 David: Well, Brandon.  It looks like I am “condesending”
 01:12 Greg : do you gusy know each other?
 01:12 David: Yes.  He is my dad.
 01:12 Brandon: David is the co-author of the essays at http://www.thesestoriesaretrue.com
 01:12 Brandon: And also my only son.
 01:12 David: That is true.  I am also his daughter.
 01:13 Greg : wtf?!
 01:13 Brandon: He just says that stuff to hurt me because he’s very gay and I don’t approve.
 01:13 Greg : did you know your dad does x?
 01:13 David: ???
 01:13 David: Dad?  You do ecstacy?
 01:14 Brandon: Dammit, Greg!
 01:14 Brandon: No.  I do not.
 01:14 Brandon: I do X as in Xerox.  I make copies.
 01:14 Greg : you guys are weird
 01:14 David: I do things with animals.
 01:14 Greg : WTF!
 01:15 David: Yes, Greg.  WTF indeed.  Greg, you need to learn to write, dude.
 01:16 Greg : fuck you!  dont be condesending
 01:16 David: Huh?
 01:16 Greg : hey what was that that you just drew him saying
 01:17 Brandon: He wasn’t really saying it.
 01:17 David: Yes, “What was that that you just drew him saying?”
 01:17 Brandon: It said “my music has awesome beatboxing”
 01:17 Greg : WTF does that mean?
 01:17 David: Shut up Greg.
 01:17 Greg : fuck you.  i will kick your ass.
 01:18 David: On the Interwebs?
 01:18 Greg : fuck you
 01:18 Greg : WTF is beatboxing
 01:18 David: *sigh*
 01:19 Brandon: It’s like rap beats people do with their mouth.  It’s pretty old-school.
 01:19 Greg : fuck you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! what the hell is beatboxing!!!!!!
 01:19 Greg : like you LOL
 01:19 David: Oh snap, Brandon!  Greg just called you LOL.
 01:19 Greg : fucvk you  I said he is old.  you kid
 01:19 Greg : you guys are faggots
 01:20 David: Yes.  We are faggots, Greg.  And we want to get married.
 01:20 Greg : faggots.
 01:20 David: Hey, Brandon.  Can we block Greg?
 01:21 Greg : fuck you.  im staying here faggots
 01:21 Brandon: I have no idea how to do that.  I’ve never used this program before today.
 01:21 David: Greg.  Go away.
 01:21 Greg : wtf.
 01:21 David: Is that where you come from Greg?  From WTF?  Where is that exactly?
 01:22 Greg : do you guys ever smoke weed?
 01:23 David: Greg.  Go away.  I hope someone smokes you.
 01:23 Greg : do you?
 01:23 David: Drugs are bad, Greg.
 01:23 Greg : fuck you.
 01:23 Greg : hey Brandon do you smoke weed?
 01:24 David: Brandon may be a homo, Greg.  But he is straight-edge.
 01:24 Greg : faggopts
 01:24 Brandon: True.  I am no dopesmoker.
 01:24 Greg : do you smoke weed Brandon
 01:24 Greg : what about mushroomz
 01:24 Brandon: I also do not smoke mushroomz.
 01:25 David: Hey Greg.  What kinds of drugs do you do?
 01:25 Greg : wtf!
 01:26 David: Is WTF an upper or downer?
 01:26 Greg : i do weed and x sometimes.  i drink shots of yaygermeyter.  id did coke a few times
 01:27 David: Hey, Greg.  Can you go overdose, please.
 01:27 Greg : fuck you faggot.
 01:27 Greg : hey what kinds of artists do you like
 01:27 David: GO
 01:28 David: AWAY
 01:28 David: GREG
 01:28 Greg : fuck you hey tsta what artists do you like?
 01:29 David: Look, Greg.  You made tsat die.
 01:29 Greg : that would be good cuz hes a faggot
 01:29 Brandon: I like me, mostly.  Some other guys who draw like me, too.
 01:29 Greg : wtf kid of drawings are those where is the color?
 01:30 Brandon: You’re watching me draw and you want me to die?
 01:30 Brandon: I haven’t colored it yet.  It goes in stages.
 01:30 Brandon: This is the getting-ready-to-start-ignoring-the-chat-room stage.
 01:30 David: Fuck you, Greg.  I’m out of here, dude.  I’m going to play Scrabble.
 01:30 Greg : wtf are you doing with scrable?
 01:31 Greg : HEY BRANDON!  DRAW A DICK!
 01:31 Greg : You just got Greg Roll’d!

Yep.  I “Greg Roll’d” Brandon.  I called him and told him I was sorry for messing with him.  Shocked, he replied, “That was you!?”  I told him that I was in fact the dude named “Greg.”  Brandon’s response was something to the effect of “You are insane!  Do you realize how insane that makes you?”

If you go back through and read that, most of that was not Brandon at all.  It was just me and “Greg” duking it out.  Look at the times, also.  Scary.