My Slanted View of the World
I am not sure if I have some sort of moral disconnect or if I am just so shocked by how horrible the world can be sometimes.
Unless you have been living in a 3rd world nation for the past year and don’t have basic cable, there is a 100% chance you have seen that Sarah McLaughlin commercial where the song “In the Arms of the Angels” plays over a lengthy series of images and video clips of battered and abused animals - mostly dogs and cats (but I think there may be a parrot in there or something). Click HERE to have your soul stomped on. It is heart-wrenching. Every time I see that commercial, I hug my dog, Rowdy, and let him hang out on the furniture.
The music certainly does add a strong element of desperation to it as well. The song is what I imagine Mother Theresa’s farts sounded like - filled with passionate pleas for hope. But even without the music, the commercial still rips out my heart and tosses it into a rusty blender. I usually go to the medicine cabinet and double up on my antidepressants when that commercial rears its sad little head on my TV. And I’m always on guard. Since Meggie is pregnant and cried when a car commercial was aired, I can’t imagine the deep depression and ensuing sob-fest that would occur if she had to see those sad, sad animals. I keep the remote handy at all times. But it’s not just that commercial. The other commercial that does it has to do with Polar Bears. Know which one I am talking about? It’s all about a mama Polar Bear who jumps off an iceberg to go get food for her baby. It has something to do with western society’s current obsession with the flavor of the month, global warming. Still, it’s very sad. I have to make sure all sharp objects are hidden and that my wrists are covered whenever its on. Very sad.
But you know what commercials don’t get to me?
The commercials about dying starving kids and moms in Africa, South America and Southeast Asia. I have no idea why this is. But whenever those commercials are aired, I’m just like, “Gross! Do you have to show that kid with the flies all over his face? I’m trying to eat my 10th meal of the day here.”
Ryan Said,
November 21, 2008 @ 1:50 pm
Racist.
Katherine Said,
November 21, 2008 @ 2:54 pm
The Sara McLaughlin commercials destroy me. I have posted several blog entries about them. I hate them. They need to go away. (And yes, whenever they come on, I too hug my pet.)
les Said,
November 21, 2008 @ 3:08 pm
Like Sam Kennison said: “MOVE TO WHERE THE FUCKING FOOD IS!!!! DONT SEND THEM MONEY OR FOOD. SEND THEM U-HUAL TRUCKS.
David C. Garcia Said,
November 21, 2008 @ 3:15 pm
Ryan: You are the one who is the racist, racist.
Katherine: Let’s sue Sara McLaughlin for emotional abuse.
Les: HAHAHAHAHA!
Brandon J. Carr Said,
November 21, 2008 @ 4:25 pm
Here’s my shot-by-shot breakdown of that emotionally-manipulative commercial (that honestly has no effect on me at all other than the following):
That dog is cold. How about you put the camera down and put a blanket on it. Cameramen have no hearts. That second dog is blinking in slow motion because blinking in slow motion is evocative and — holy SHIT, where’s that cat’s eye? Someone needs to a put a patch on that thing or get it off my YouTubes. Is that even an entire cat? It’s not moving and all I see is the head. It’s bag of cat heads. The SPCA is showing us a bag of one-eyed cat heads. Nice.
Now there’s a one-eyed Ewok or something that looks like its crying. Is this supposed to make me sad? This is gross. Those aren’t dog tears…it has some weird infection or something. Yuck. Next there’s a dog that’s probably been ripped in half and they wanted to see if taping it back together would work before chopping off its head and putting in the DOG head bag.
DOGS MAKE SAD FACES ALL THE TIME. CATS’ EYES WATER A LOT WHEN THEY’RE SICK. These animals are not depressed. That cat is not crying. That mop thing is not…WHERE ARE ALL THESE CREATURES’ EYES?! Another catclops! The next dog is missing an ear. Does it get a kiss like the catclops? No. Just a hug. So much for equal treatment, huh? Crying, two-eyed cats live in CAGES there.
“Hi. I’m Sarah McLaughlin. Be sure to be an angel for a shelter animal. Not me, though. Check out my purebred dog. Cost me $5,000.”
The next little muppet creature is being hugged by animal cop. The next dog? The white one? Doesn’t even look SAD. They need to remove that one because he doesn’t fit into the “looks like it’s pleading” motif of the rest of the ad. WHERE IS THAT CAT’S EYE? If I do anything for the SPCA, it’s going to be an eyepatch donation so that these animals start looking BADASS and stop looking GROSS. Only eyepatches because they’re accessories and that’s as far as anyone should EVER go with animals.
Now the SPCA cops and doctors are representing. Carrying, medicating, hugging. THAT part is interesting, not the intentional sad-pandering of the rest of the commercial. Those creatures may look like they’re in dire desperate straights, but they were likely unfed that day to accomplish it. I doubt most of the animals wouldn’t perk right up if someone tossed them a Scooby Snack or a ball.
If I join I get a photo of an animal in a shelter?! Awesome. GIVE ME A PHOTO OF AN ANIMAL WITH THE PROPER NUMBER OF EYES, THANK YOU.
Another one-eyed kitten! A dog too sad to escape his cage! Cat attacks camera! Sarah McLaughlin! Sad dog in a metal box! Please call right now? Nope.
I have a heart. I’m often very fond of animals. But I will not be tricked into caring by a cleverly-cut, sappily-musicked commercial. I find it insulting. Can you imagine if any other organization did something like this? Like a bunch of shots of mopey-looking cows. “Milk: If you don’t drink it, their udders will explode.” And then show a shot of a cow with an exploded udder looking sad. No thanks. I already like milk.
It’s emotional pandering and, obviously, it works. But for each of you who watch that ad and get some sniffles going, how many of you have donated? Who amongst you is proudly wearing their ASPCA t-shirt and cat-hazard wristband? That’s the measure of success for a commercial intended as a heart-wrenching fundraiser. Instead it just winds up wrenching hearts. What’s the point of that? Maybe the ASPCA just hates joy.
b
Robyn Said,
November 21, 2008 @ 4:27 pm
I’m the same way! Animals > Most people.
This was awesome. I liked the line about Mother Theresa.
David C. Garcia Said,
November 21, 2008 @ 9:48 pm
Brandon: Grump.
All I was saying is that the commercial makes me sad and that 3rd world humans with flies/mud in their mouth and eyes make me want to barf. It really had nothing to do with my socio-political values or whatever. Shit, son. You know me.
Aaaaaaand, in the event that you want to step to this, I totally did my part. I paid 20 dollars for a totally working, two-eyed, four-legged badass named Rowdy (with pre-housebroken technology). Damn, bitch, stop hatin’. I am going to dress my dog up now.
PS: Grump.
Robyn: Mother Theresa’s farts were a melody to behold.
mom Said,
November 22, 2008 @ 8:01 am
I change the channel when that commercial comes on
Katherine Said,
November 22, 2008 @ 3:26 pm
Brandon, we’ve discussed before your need to better clarify and express your feelings. I see you’re still not fully tapping into how you feel. Let’s work on that, okay?
Jessica Said,
November 23, 2008 @ 11:57 pm
I hate that commercial. HATE IT. Every time I see it I start questioning whether my own dogs are malnourished.
My dogs love that commercial. Every time it’s on they get burritos and popcorn.
Jess Said,
November 24, 2008 @ 10:45 am
I don’t really care about the sad animal commercials OR the sad little kid commercials; however, I adopted an SPCA dog AND I sponsor a poor kid from a third-world nation. Mostly, that just makes me better than you.