Do NOT Step to Mush Mouth

I was surfing the Interwebs today and decided to check my MySpacez.

I read a few surveys, checked out a few new pics of people I only sort of know doing things that are only sort of cool.

I LOL’d, ROFL’d, WTF’d and OMGzorged a few times, and then got super annoyed by a certain bulletin that had been posted six or seven times back-to-back.

It was mega-annoying, so I thought to myself, “WTHIWWSOTI!!!!!!!” (What the hell is wrong with some of these imbeciles?)

The message in question is from an “indie” rapper I’ve decided to call Mush Mouth (his profile).

This is Mush Mouth:

The bulletin in question was entitled “NEW TRACK FROM YA BOY ROME FRIENDZ CHECK IT OUT !!!”

What did the message say?  I am not sure, but here are the letters that were in the body of the bulletin:

YOU GOT UH FRIEND ? DONT LET UM GO
ROME

Just some background:

Mush Mouth (real name, Roman) is a 19 or 20-year old rapper in the Prince George County area.  He is signed to some label he and his family member started.  Mush Mouth totally asked me to be his friend a few weeks ago, and I decided to give the little guy a shot at hanging with the other big dogs in my illustrious “friends list.”

Here is a snippet from Mush Mouth’s profile:

Born Roman Charles Perry Dec 20th 1987 in Washington DC, later moved to pg county and spent years growing up in Waldorf MD and Virginia. Roman began rapping at age 9 and began to get serious at the age of 17 after failing the 9th grade 3 times. ( a story similar to one of Roman’s favorite rappers “Eminem”) whom he is often compared to. After being incarcerated and being on house arrest for over a year loosing his entire 16 year in the house, only able to go to and from school, Roman then realized he had a special gift to write music. Interested in doing nothing but writeing music A year later after house arrest roman stopped going to school completely.

Mush Mouth is a dolt.  How the hell do you fail 9th grade three times (at a PGC school)?  Answer: You’re an idiot.

Anyways, since Mush Mouth is an idiot, I decided to learn him real good with some etiquette.  I replied to one of the zillion unreadable bulletins he posted.  Here’s how the whole thing went down (I have been awesome enough to provide translations for Mush Mouth’s responses):

RE: NEW TRACK FROM YA BOY ROME FRIENDZ CHECK IT OUT !!!

One post of the SAME THING is enough. If people want to see a post, they only need to be told about it once.

—————– Original Message —————–

From: MUSH MOUTH
Date: Oct 26, 2008 4:31 PM

take me off your fuckin list then wtf aint aint that hard ill post az many az i fuckin want my friend
rome

Translation: Take me off of your fucking [friends] list, then.  What the fuck? It is not that hard.  I’ll post as many [bulletins] as I fucking want to, my friend.

Rome.

—————– Original Message —————–
From: davidcgarcia. com
Date: Oct 26, 2008 5:24 PM
Maybe, I will, Mush Mouth. Not sure.

The thing is that YOU solicited me as a friend. I did not at any time actively seek you out as a MySpace friend (even though MySpace is a place for friends). I saw that you were a “musician,” and I like to patronize the arts, no matter how horrible said art is.

By the way, your music is mediocre at best.

All I am saying, stupid, is that if you are trying to get people to pay attention to you, only one notice will suffice. Otherwise, you just seem annoying and/or desperate. I look at bulletins the way I look at kids: most of the time, the bulletins are nonsensical ramblings, chock full of errors (grammar-wise and opinion-wise). Usually, I let these go. After all, retards will be retards, right? But in the case of your use of multiple back-to-back bulletins, I had to treat you like I treat a little kid who won’t shut up: yell and berate.

Just the way of the world, G. Just the way of the world.
—————– Original Message —————–
From: MUSH MOUTH
Date: Oct 26, 2008 5:28 PM

shut the hell up wit that shit mediocre but im signed i use this to promote myself on my friend time goodbye im blocking u and u wont get the last word cuz i am still a kid so fuck off

Translation (as best as I could): Shut the hell up with that shit.  Mediocre, but I am signed.  I use [MySpace?] to promote myself.  Friend time is is being stopped.  I am blocking you, and you won’t get the last word because I am still a kid.  So fuck off.

Indeed, Mush Mouth did block me.  I tried to reply to him and tell him that I was sorry for drying out his sensitive little vagina, but I was totally shot down.  All I got was a message from MySpace telling me Mush Mouth had blocked me (as he had promised) and removed me from his friends list.

Mush Mouth is hardcore as shit.  Step to that gangsta and he’ll straight up stop “talking” to you and then defriend you.