An e-mail conversation between Brandon and I:

Brandon: CNN Headlines That Make Me Laugh But Shouldn’t:
WZZM: Bowler rolls perfect game, then dies

David: You’re an asshole.

Brandon: Yep!

David: It would have been cool if the title was Bowler Rolls Perfect Game, Then Dies, Then Gets Raped, Then Learns to Smile Again

Brandon: YES.  Bowler Rapes Ball, Rolls Perfect Game, Dies, Ball Rapes Him, Ball Learns To Smile Again.

David: I want to rape a bowling ball.  Let’s go to the bowling alley.  Do you have condoms?  I have no idea who has put their fingers in those things.

Brandon: I do not have any condoms.  Sorry.  Your plan is foiled.

David: Fine.  I’m just going to rape you, then.  And when I do, you had better be smiling!

Brandon: If you rape me, I swear I will never smile again.  And that will make you so mad, which I’ll enjoy the shit out of, but won’t smile about.

David: I will turn that frown upside down…by raping you upside down.  After I rape you, I am going to rape that sad face off your face by raping you upside down!

Brandon: False.  My mouth will either be a straight line or a perfect circle.  No frowns or smiles.  You don’t get the satisfaction.

David: I will cut a smile into your face, Joker-style, and then rape that smile.
 
You know this can easily be remedied if you go get me some condoms so I can rape a bowling ball.

Brandon: Fine.  I will go get you condoms.  Geez.

David: Suh-weet!