This afternoon, Brandon and I were outside talking with a friend who has a friend who holds a personal record of 33 meat-beatings in one day.  I was very impressed and said that while such a feat is hard to believe, I still think it is more plausible than say, cow-tipping.

I have consistently maintained my belief that cow-tipping is a load of shit.  Throughout my short and amazing life, I have known people who say they know people who know people who “do it all the time.”  These are the same people who believe in other ridiculousness like creationism and Carlos Mencia’s originality.

Another coworker promptly said, “I’ve been cow-tipping.”

Huh?  I have no reason to disbelieve said coworker.  Unlike everyone else who seems to peripherally know of cow-tipping, this person seemed to have first-hand knowledge.  Still, I have never seen a cow tipped and have read numerous articles on the nearly physical impossibility of such a feat.

So, co-worker invited Brandon and me on a cow-tipping adventure.  We graciously accepted — hey, you only live once, right?

So, I may be headed on my own little Mythbusters-like adventure.  I intend to find the drunkest cow with osteoporosis.  If I can’t take that meaty fucker down, then I doubt anyone will ever be able to EVER convince me cow-tipping is possible.

And if it does work, cool.  Don’t worry.  I plan to be totally humane and resourceful.  I’ll be bringing a chainsaw and stocking the fridge with fresh delicious meat.

Is this post tongue-in-cheek?  What do you think, Doogie?

- David C. Garcia