So, word has quickly spread around the world to the handful of my readers about my obvious jealousy contempt for you, Michael “the water bitch” Phelps. Everyone About 10 to 20 people knows about the challenge I have put up.
My friend assistant, Jess Glass, went ahead and did some of the legwork for me and went to your website. She has posted my challenge to you in your “Ask Michael” section.
Are you up for it, you water monkey? Will you accept my challenge to a LAND RACE, or has a world of adoring fans given you a god complex?
The ball is in your court, Michael Phelps. Can you drag yourself out of the pool and get it?
- David C. Garcia
Damn straight, son.
Fuck yeah. I am going to ruin Michael Phelps’ face in a Land Race. He can’t even imagine.
Haters. He’s a killer. His six four ass will kill you in everything. Man crush like crazy. Go USA!!!!
David, I am usually on your side, but I have to agree with Sizzle on this. I think Phelps will beat you like a red-headed step child.
Sizzle & Nate:
Well, we’ll have to see about that. Maybe if Michael Phelps steps up to the challenge and LAND RACES with me, we can settle this once and for all.
There’s been radio silence from Mr. Phelps, so far. What, is he like “competing” in the “Olympics” or something?
If by “competing” you mean “acting like some retarded fish and hanging out in the water,” then yes.
Yeah, you won’t convince me. I was a swimmer back in the day, so I am way more impressed with what he does in the water than the gigantic margin of victory he will achieve in your land “race.” That’s more like a foregone conclusion. Or something.
Nate, you don’t know anything. Just because you hung around the public pools and drooled over the young boys in their Speedos does not mean you were a swimmer. Come on over to my side. You are either with me or against me.
After you, ahem “beat,” Phelps in your Land Race, you should race against one of the gold-medal winning US Equestrian team’s horses… see how that goes.
Done. Will you please write up a formal letter for me announcing my challenge? I will post it.
Why do you have an assistant? What does Jess assist you in doing? Just curious.
CM