Meggie’s Bridal Shower Q&A

For Meggie’s bridal shower, I was asked to woo her and the attending ladies with my razor-sharp wit and brilliant…um…question-asking skills.  I went ahead and made up the most important quiz she and her gal pals will ever take.  Now, for the first time EVER, you ladies (Yes, I am so manly, all my readers, regardless of gender are girls by comparisson) can partake in the quiz. See how well you do, genius. The answers are at the end, chief.

Thank you for taking the time to participate in this brief (but extremely important) survey.  The following questions will test you knowledge on all things David.  Try not to stress out.  These questions (while more important than world peace) should be easy for you.  To make it easier, they are multiple choice.  BUT…make sure to listen to all of the options.  The following test was put together with the assistance of the guy who invented the SAT.  That makes them tricky at times.  Take care.  Godspeed or something.

1. Why does David have a PERFECTLY-shaped head?
a. Because his head is part egg.
b. Because Michael Phelps DOES NOT have a perfectly shaped head.
c. Because David was born c-section.
d. David does not have a perfectly-shaped head. His head is bumpy and lopsided (but good at growing hair).

2. According to David’s mother, since the day he was born he…
a. …has been destined for greatness
b. …has not shut up.
c. …has wanted to a ballerina.
d. …has smelled like falafel.

3. David was born on
a. On Labor Day (get it?)
b. On October 23, 1980
c. On a Dark and Stormy Night
d. On September 14, 1979

4. David speaks the following languages.
a. English
b. Spanish
c. Gibberish
d. All of the above (and then some)

5. David was born in:
a. Phoenix, AZ
b. Tucson, AZ
c. Los Angeles, CA
d. Istanbul, Turkey

6. David drives what kind of car?
a. A 1999 Hyundai Accent
b. A 2000 Hyundai Accent
c. A horse and buggy
d. A 199 (BC) Hyundai Elantra

7. David wants Meggie to watch which movie?
a. The Fly (1986 version)
b. The Fly (1986 version)
c. The Fly (1986 version)
d. The Fly (1986 version)

8. David believes he should have a moustache because…
a. Moustaches are every man’s God-given (and Constitutional) right.
b. Moustaches command respect.
c. Moustaches are ridiculous.
d. All of the above.
e. Both a. and c.

9. David’s favorite Mario Kart character is
a. Bowser
b. Dry Bones
c. Birdo
d. Koopa Troopa

10. David gave his and Meggie’s dog, Rowdy, the following full name:
a. Rowdimus “The Dog” Garcia
b. Sir Rowdimus Megatron Damian “The Mean Machine” Voldemort Dexter Garcia, Esquire
c. Rowdimus Sunshine Bambi Flowers Garcia
d. Phil

11. David Can’t live without:
a. His MTV
b. Oxygen
c. Meggie
d. Rabies
e. b and c

12. The car David wants more than any car in the world
a. Rocket ship
b. El Camino
c. 1957 Chevy
d. Camaro

13. Condiment David cannot stand
a. tomatoes
b. lettuce
c. pickles
d. dirt
e. Both c and d

14. Food items David has NOT eaten:
a. Insects (live and dead)
b. Kim Chee
c. Blood sausage
d. Meggie’s freakin’ Snickers bar

15. The person who David adores:
a. Meggie

1.: c, 2.: b., 3.: d., 4.:d., 5.: b., 6.: a., 7.:b., 8.: e., 9.: b., 10,: b., 11.: e., 12.: b., 13.: e., 14.: d., 15.: a.