This Saturday, I got my athleticism on and got into some serious Wii Sports. After demolishing the competition in Wii Baseball, I decided to get into some Wii Boxing. Let me say this: My Wii Boxing skills are flawless. However, as any seasoned boxing pro will tell you, you need to give yourself time to recuperate from a match. This, my friends, I did not do. You know how when you watch any of the 50 or so Rocky movies, and they transition through a series of fights, back-to-back, showing Rocky beating all of his opponents? Obviously, those are a string of fights, and you know they have taken place over a period of weeks or months.
Now, imagine if you will, a movie about me being a Wii Boxer. In this film, there is also a string of back-to-back fights featuring me destroying opponent after opponent. If you think that these fights have occurred over a period of weeks or months, you would be wrong. In fact, these fights all took place over a period of one day – minutes, in fact.
With Brandon and Meggie watching in awe and anticipation as I stomped the crap out of each computerized opponent, I realized my true calling. I am legitimate prize fighter. What’s the prize, you ask? Pain. As I gracefully (read spastically) hopped (read flailed) around, I had no idea that all of my prizes would be waiting for me the next morning.
I’ve decided that the AMA needs to add a new condition to its list of ailments: Wii Arm. I think I have that. This is what my arm looks like now. I tried to high-five someone earlier, and it felt like my arm was being ripped out of the socket.
- David C. Garcia